The fact that things in this world, and specifically in this nation, are getting worse is no surprise to anyone. Moral bankruptcy is not an epidemic on the fringes anymore, but it is a prevalent disease in our society. Not only are our moral values distorted as a whole, but our views on what's important are completely twisted.

The general feeling toward stay at home parents is that they somehow gave up on life. "You stay at home with your kids? What happened to you?" That seems to be the sentiment, although for the most part those people don't have the guts to at least say it outright.

It seems that "getting ahead" and a "career" are more important than raising your children. How many countless of men and women neglect time with their family in order to get a promotion, or in order to make that extra grand?

I'm not saying that careers and dreams are inherently bad, but I am saying that if you put those things ahead of your family, they can become a bad thing.

In today's society, the men and women who are considered to be successful are those who have a "career." Those who have chosen to stay at home and raise their children are considered to be a abomination.

But in the end, what is truly going to matter? Children grow very quickly. When you are in your deathbed, looking back at life, what will you wish you had done more of? I never heard of anyone wishing they had spend more time at the office, or wishing they had scheduled one more meeting. No, in the end, selfishness and greed won't matter. In the end, what will truly matter is the time you shared with your loved ones.

Investing your life in the lives of your children and spouse is one of the most blessed things you could ever do. Our society may value money and careers the most, but experience teaches us that what life values most is time well-invested.

For all of you thinking the world is going to end on December 21 because of what the Mayan calendar supposedly predicts, here's what truly happened.

A couple of days ago, Elena and I went to the Blind Tiger. No, this wasn't a safari expedition. The Blind Tiger is a restaurant/brewery in Topeka. I must say that the waiting area is not inspiring, but once my name was called and we entered the dining area, I really liked what I saw. The lighting was perfect, not too bright to blind you (like the poor tiger), but not too dim that you couldn't see your plate. The atmosphere, as a whole, was welcoming. The place was completely packed.

Unfortunately, they sat us next to a raucous group of middle age ladies who were louder than my entire Cuban family (and that's saying something). They were loud, obnoxious and used crude language throughout the night. Our waitress was apologetic, but powerless. After about a half hour, maybe a bit more, they finally left and I could actually carry a conversation with my wife that didn't involve yelling.

Did I mention they have a brewery? I had the best beer I have ever tasted in my life. I don't know if they bottle and sell it, but if they don't, they should totally do it. I would buy dozens. It was that good. The food was good, too. But the beer, the Capital City Kolsch was amazing. The beer won the 2012 Gold Medal, and I'm sure it could win more Like I told Elena that night, if Michael Phelps was a beer, it would be this one. Just give the beer all the gold medals already.

December 14

December 21

December 28

Hello! I've started a new writing venture! It's a mystery/adventure novel and what's best is that you can read a chapter every week, for free. Check it out!


Link 1:

http://israelwrites.3owl.com

Link 2:

http://israelwrites.wordpress.com

Yes, her accent is pretty funny, but the video is pretty cool. You know you have always wondered why the Big Mac on the pictures look better than the ones you get at the store.

We all know that Hollywood and trashy books over-romanticize love and relationships. Many people (read, mostly teenage girls) see this "perfect" guy in the big screen, who always does the right thing and who always says the right thing and then wonder why their significant other can't compare. Sorry girls, but there's a reason why they call all this fiction. But then, every once in a while, a book or a movie comes along that just takes things to a whole other level of ridiculousness. Yes, I'm talking about the Twilight saga.

This whole series just takes romanticism into the realms of creepy and disturbing. And why are girls swooning over this? A few examples, but oh, there are so many.

#1-Edward watches Bella sleep

The world has changed. Thanks to the invention of computers and the web, came the creation of blogs. Anyone is the world is capable of having their own blog and sharing their thoughts with the world. Overall, I think this is a great thing. The more people talking, the more chances of us understanding each other. However, my problem arises when some of these "bloggers" somehow become famous, get their blogs turned into books and call themselves authors. Granted, there are some very talented people who started as bloggers and now have become book authors, but the majority are not.

Writers are artists and art is not something you can mass produce. No one can teach you to be an artist. Sure, you can hone your skills, you can learn techniques, but the innate spark that made you want to create has to be there first. There must be something inside of you that completely obsesses you, something that says, "If I don't write, I can't make sense of things. There's something missing." It is that spark, that joy that you feel when you put down words on a paper, or a computer screen that allows you to improve and get better.

Not everyone who learns how to write their name, or a blog is truly a writer. Talent is key. But there's also that unnameable quality, that thing that you can't really articulate but that you feel whenever you read something that is truly amazing. Sure, yeah, there's the language, the idea, the characters, the plot, but there's something else, something that makes it a work of art, something that escapes definition and just is.

For instance, the same could be said about photography. Thanks to smart phones and cheap digital cameras, everyone thinks they are a photographer. There's nothing wrong about taking pictures of your family and your friends and make memories, but the problem comes when some of those people think, "I have a camera, so that means I'm a photographer, let me make a watermark." Sorry, but that's now how it works. If you don't have that innate talent, that unique voice, then it doesn't matter how many lenses you got, you are terrible, or in vernacular, you still suck. Lenses and good cameras will only get you so far. Like I said, unless you have that yearning passion, that obsession and the innate talent, then you may be popular, you may even be rich, but you're not an artist, not in the true sense of the word, not in the way that matters.

These are all upcoming movies in November that I want to see (hopefully in theathers). Enjoy the trailers and maybe see you at the movies!

November 2

November 9

November 16

November 23

I write to make sense of things.

We live under the illusion that every single one of us will live to be a hundred and die in our sleep, after having said our goodbyes and making peace with the world. At times, we get glimpses of this fallacy and it feels like a bolt of lightning reanimated our sleeping minds. Twelve years ago, on October 1st, I received one of those wake up calls when the car I was traveling in crashed against another one, launching me against the windshield, losing layers of skin on my forehead and losing my teenage sense of invincibility. After the accident, life became immediate, with words such as "friends" and "family" taking on a deeper meaning, like roots in an ancient tree.

Then a couple of days ago, also on October 1st, a cousin of mine passed away in an accident. He was only 43. He leaves a young daughter behind, a little girl who will no longer be kissed or hugged by her dad. He leaves behind a family who loved him. Tragedies such as this one serve to remind us of how fragile life is. They serve to remind us that we... "do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." (James 4:14)

We are just here for a little while. When you stress out so much about money and bills that you lose sleep, remember that we are only here for a little while. When you work so hard that you neglect time with your family, remember that we are only here for a little while. When you live your life not thinking about eternity, remember that we are only here for a little while. Life is short; eternity is forever.

I don't know what my cousin Javier's standing with Jesus Christ was. I hadn't talked to him in a little while, and especially not about deep things such as faith. He was certainly aware of my beliefs and we did talk about it in the past. Only God knows what happens in the final seconds of one's life on earth, only He is merciful enough to receive someone's repentance and accept him into His kingdom. If death is like a dream, then we all know that a few seconds dreaming seem like a 100 waking hours, certainly enough time to make amends. But I don't know these things with certainty, for this is a mystery. I can only speak of God's grace and mercy.

My cousin Javier was like any of us, he had flaws and virtues. What I remember most about him was his excitement when discussing a topic he was interested in, how he would open his eyes wide, arch his body back and then lean forward and gently touch you in the arm. He had a bigger-than-life personality that demanded notice when entering the room. Many times, when I was driving around cars that would often refuse to run, he would pick me up in his tow truck, saving me stress and money. But what many people didn't know about him was that he was a cinephile. The man loved and knew his film history. Thanks to him, I learned to love film, to see it as an art form. I learned about Fellini, Godard, Rossellini and many others. I always looked forward to new recommendations from him and then telling him my experiences watching those films.

One of his favorite films, which later became one of mine, was 8 1/2 by Federico Fellini. The movie is about a director facing a deadline to finish a movie, while at the same time juggling his personal life. Fact and fiction blur together in this wonderful film, where at the end, the protagonist's movie remains unfinished. Unfinished, that's the best word to describe Javier's life. He was too young and had still too much to accomplish.

We are only here for a little while.

If you haven't read the books, or at least seen the movies, then you won't get this reference. But the other day, Ellie was on the changing table while Elena was changing her.

"Such pretty eyes!" Elena said, smiling at Ellie.

I got closer to Ellie, held back laughter and said.

"You have your mother's eyes."

Elena instantly knew the Harry Potter reference and we both started laughing. I love my home.

So Elena and I went to the library book sale, put on by the Friends of the Library, and it was quite spectacular. There were thousands of books to choose from, which was definitely overwhelming, but in a good way.

There's always a rush when going to the book sale. There's this side of me that wants to get there before anyone else does, to get the "best book" before that person in front of me does. It's a fun challenge, a competition of sorts that I'm sure many others participate in silence, as well. They also had baked goods for sale and naturally we also made a stop by that section.

It was great to see people of all ages, including our little Ellie, mesmerized by the energy of all the book lovers. I can't wait for the book sale already! I wish there was another one soon.

In the end, we acquired over 20 books and one way or another, I will make time to read them all.

Yesterday Elena and I celebrated our two-year anniversary. We had a wonderful time and I can't wait to spend 60+ anniversaries together. She is my best friend and the love of my life.Since I don't have the old blog active anymore, here's The Proposal

----
A single comment on a blog changed my life forever. Almost 5 months later, I'm engaged to the woman of my dreams, the woman I always prayed for. We have only seen each other in person for about 13 days, but we knew early on that we would get married, that we were meant to be together.

"When you know, you know." People always told me that, and now, when it happened to me, I know that this is true. The proposal itself took some weeks of preparations. All the details had to be right. Elena loves riding bikes, going on scavenger hunts and adventures, and she has a love for gnomes. A perfect proposal to my love had to include all these things. Also, for every clue she got right in the scavenger hunt, she would get small prizes, leading to finding the gnome, and the main surprise; the ring. So, I bought small prizes to give her, plus I practiced getting down on one knee a couple of times.

The clues had a riddle and pictures (that I took a week
earlier) to guide her along the way. It was a challenge and a risk to plan such a thing in a place where she had never been before, but my love is a smart girl. The pages were burned along the edges to recreate an ancient map, because that's how gnomes do it.

The hunt

At first, she had to locate the seventh tree to the east, there she would find the first clue. There was a small shovel and with it she would dig to find the clue from Gnomie (the gnome). I asked her to turn around, close her eyes and count to five. Then I gave her a kiss as the first prize.

Originally it was going to be a bottle of water, a Florida brand, but we had to drink that earlier because, well, we were thirsty. This clue, then led her down a unpaved road. There was a picture of Gnomie standing on it. A nice walk down the path took her to where the second clue was. It was hidden behind some bushes, next to a clearing by the lake. My love found it quickly and was excited for the next clue. The prize: She turned around, closed her eyes, counted to seven and then I gave her a copy of the movie Amelie. One of her favorites, which she didn't have.


The third clue was a bit tricky, for it was glued to a half-foam ball and was floating on the water, right next to a beware of the alligator sign. No worries, I haven't seen a gator there for years and the clue was right by the shore. For the prize, she turned around, closed her eyes and counted to ten, then I gave her an invitation to dinner with me (not Gnomie) at a fancy restaurant.

The third clue spoke of transportation to arrive at the final destination. My love thought it meant driving in my car. However, right next to where we were standing, there were two bicycles beneath the "Beware of Alligator" sign. To Elena's amazement, I unlocked the lock, and we rode down a beautiful trail that led to a beach. It is an amazing sight. At one point you are in what seems to be a jungle with a very narrow paved road, but once the trail ends, the sun light greets you with the sight of the bay and a beach.

At last, we arrived at the final destination. There was a beach chair with a towel covering something. Elena, my love, looked around for Gnomie and found him hidden in a small palm tree. Once she found him, I asked her to turn around and to count to 12, so that she could receive her final prize. At 12 seconds, she turned back around, opened her eyes and saw me down on one knee with an engagement ring. "Will you marry me?" I asked.

She said yes.



We celebrated by uncovering the wine and two glasses that were hidden beneath the beach towel. It was a beautiful moment. I will never forget it. I still can't believe I'm engaged! I have waited all my life for someone like her! Elena and I are not perfect people, but we serve a perfect God rich in mercy and grace. I had no idea that by clicking on her blog, I would be marrying her in the fall of this year. The hardest part is being apart until we get married. Fortunately, as I mentioned, the wedding is going to be very soon. And God will continue to show us His grace and mercy because of His goodness.

Our lives feel like a movie. And maybe they are. Maybe this is all a movie with many plot twists and characters and God as the director. I believe ours is a wonderful romance film written and directed by Love Himself. With every passing day Elena and I love each other more and more. Isn't that how love is supposed to be? Isn't love supposed to be an immeasurable thing? Who says there is a limit? Does God have a limit? Isn't God love?

Love, love and love. Love Doesn't Let Go.

Libraries are one of my favorite places on earth. I worked for the Miami-Dade Public Library System for nearly five years. Being around so many books and movies and other resources, was just wonderful, especially since I love to write. Writing a book on the ancient Maya? You can find resources at the library. Want to find that documentary your professor required, you are likely to find it at the library.

The Topeka and Shawnee Library does not disappoint. I'm usually there at least twice a week. Erin at the Reference Desk can vouch for that.

It's funny though, as much as I enjoy reading and writing, I never went to a library until I started to work there. When I was a little boy, in Cuba, my mother would take me to a bookstore a couple of blocks away from our house. There is where I fell in love with adventure stories, like Jules Verne's From the Earth to the Moon, or his lesser known The Mysterious Island. But, alas, I never set foot in a library, except for the one at my high school, but that was just to print a homework assignment.

I don't know why it took me so long to go to a library, but once I did, I have enjoyed every moment, even its colorful cast of characters, which seem to show up no matter where a library is located. If you have children, don't wait too long to introduce them to the magic of books and libraries. I know Elena and I won't.

School just started, which means that I am a full-time student, full-time employee, full-time husband and full-time father. Condolence cards will be accepted. No, but really, it will be a very busy fall.

Fortunately, I know that my lovely wife is willing and able to help me in anything I need. I will certainly strive to get good grades (hopefully all As), and you can be sure that I will document my achievements and frustrations.

Charlie the Unicorn goes to Candy Mountain

Remember this awesome commercial? Happy friday!

There's a recent New York Times article that deals with the big networks struggling to appeal to Hispanics. In the article, the networks wonder why they haven't been able to reach the Hispanic demographic. The answer? It's simple, really.

Stop using so many stereotypes.

Not everyone of Hispanic descent is a maid or is clueless about life. There are plenty of professionals, inventors and even millionaires whose last name ends with a "Z." If you truly want to market and appeal to the growing demographic, then don't rely on clichés, but get to know your audience. How you do that? There are many ways, but one of them is to hire Hispanic writers (me, for example).

Find real stories to tell, stories that involve our culture and heritage. From my own experience, I have many stories of leaving Cuba and the shock of learning a new language and the abundance of capitalism. Still, today, there are plenty of things that happen in my daily life that could be part of a sitcom (just ask my wife). And like me, there are millions of us.

For a classic example of a great understanding of the culture (this is a Miami-Cuban sitcom), watch this clip from Que Pasa Usa? Oh, and my birthday is in December, in case any of you wants to get me the complete season.

Dear Netflix,

Since Netflix is a service that is used through computers and Blu Ray players, I assume that your customer demographic is mostly cool, young hipsters. If that's the case, then why is your movie selection 95% old-garbage?

I love old movies, but good ones, classic ones, not what you have on there. I pay a monthly fee in hopes of watching decent movies, but after hours of browsing thousands of titles, there's maybe only 5 movies that were released in the last year. I could probably film myself browsing for movies and that would probably be more entertaining than half of your selection. I'm sure that many some people would actually prefer to watch that.

What about our TV shows, you may say? Sure, I give you that. Your selection of TV shows is pretty good, however, many times you have one season of a show that had about seve or eight released. Why would you even do that? Why get someone hooked on a show and then only offer one or two seasons? That's just cruel and unusual. And if you do add a season, it takes you two or three years.

Be aware that you have competition. There's Hulu Plus! Unfortunately for me, my Blu Ray player is not compatible, so I can't watch it on the big screen. However, the minute I buy a new player, or Hulu expands its collection of acceptable devices, you will most certainly lose a customer. Unless you improve your selection, in which case, you may or may not lose a customer.

Sincerely,

A. Customer

Because Kansans can also make viral videos!

There's some strange creature living inside our walls. I don't know what it is exactly, but at times, you can hear some sort of rustle sound. The problem is that I can't figure out what it is, or how to get it out of there, or how to kill it. This is happening in our bedroom, and it's been happening since very early on.

It doesn't happen every day, but that strange creature loves to move around in the middle of the night. It's very annoying and at times it takes me a while to go to sleep because of it. I'm afraid it's going to open a hole in the wall and surprise me in the middle of the night, or that it'll hit the wall so hard that one of the hanging ornaments is going to fall on my head.

This sounds like some crazy Edgar Allan Poe story, but it's the truth. If you have any suggestions, please let me know. In the meantime, I have enlisted the help of Liam Neeson.

Once again, Elena and I are at the dinner table while little Ellie sits on her car seat. (She would usually sit in her regular play chair, but she...had an accident on it.) While we are talking, Ellie starts blowing raspberries and makes a really loud noise.

A classic viral video. (Did I just say that?) Happy friday everyone!

Elena and I have very interesting conversations at the dinner table. Our dinner conversations mostly take place when we are not eating in a hurry because of little Ellie freaking out. In the moments when she is calm and happy, we dine and we converse. This is from a recent conversation.

Alright, so we are about halfway done with 2012 (time has gone by fast!), so I figured it would be a good time to present you with the the top 10 posts, thus far. These are the most popular entries, the ones you have read the most. So enjoy them again, or if this your first time reading them, then enjoy!

This video is so cheesy and bad, that it ends up being good. It's Friday!!

My wife Elena has written frequently in her blog about how hard it is to get Ellie to sleep. Besides the fact that she refuses to go to sleep earlier than midnight, there are other roadblocks in the way to her sleep, i.e., our sanity.

I just created a free eBook filled with your favorite Cubanisms from the blog, plus a few more new entries! I'm sure this is the first of many to come, and it is completely free! Just download the PDF and that's it. You got Cubanisms on the go now!

you can also click here to get it

Hello everyone. First, I want to bring the word "funky" back. I think it is pretty great and rarely used. Second, I introduce to you a new feature on the blog! Every friday I will post a funny or interesting viral video. Some are old (like the one below) but still pretty fantastic. Check it out!

Ellie Marie is a beautiful and wonderful baby. However, taking care of her is a full-time job plus overtime. There is barely time to do anything. For example, I love to read. Right now, I have about 10 books that I want to read. They are just staring at me from the shelf, taunting me even.

The other day, while I was having some play time with Ellie, I thought of something. Don't kids like being read to? Well, I grabbed the Steve Jobs biography I've been meaning to read and starting reading it to her. It was a win-win. We got to spend time together and I was reading a book I liked. It lasted about 20 minutes, which is like a hundred years in baby world. It was great.

Looking at my shelf, I have books on Public Relations and Marketing, Graphic Design and CSS. Going a this pace, by the time Ellie is 10 years old she might become a genius marketer, technological innovator and savvy web designer.

Watch out Zuckerberg!

Don't let my unreliable Acer fool you, I am a big Apple fanatic. I always have been. For the record, I do own an Apple computer, an older Powerbook G4. Anyway, I'm asking for your help. Many times, you, or someone in your family comes across an old computer that you don't need any more.

As a writer, I can appreciate the crafting of a clever Facebook status update, or just a sweet note to a loved one. On the other hand, I can also easily spot things that annoy me. So, this is my list of the most annoying Facebook status updates:

There seems to be a misconception, or just plain ignorance, where people think I'm Mexican because I'm Hispanic. (I took the ignorance route, rather than just old fashioned racism to give them the benefit of the doubt.)

Newsflash! Not all Hispanics are Mexicans! I know, I know, maybe you were out sick for the entire year when they taught geography in middle school, but there's a whole world of Spanish-speaking nations out there. About the only thing my Mexican brethren and Cubans have in common is the language. Our foods, music, customs and even holidays are different.

I'm sorry that the education system has failed you miserably, so let's learn some things:





As you can see, Cuba is an island, the biggest in the Caribbean and is not even connected to Mexico. The United States on the other hand, is connected to Mexico, but you don't see everyone calling themselves Mexicans.

Yes, many of us may have darker skin (not all, actually) and may speak English with an accent (not all, again), but if you got to know us as individuals, you'll discover an immensely rich and amazing cultural history. I am Cuban and very proud of it, and all my other Hispanic brethren are proud of their nationalities as well. To finalize, I'll leave you with a small list of other Hispanic nations. And who says you can't learn something through a blog?

Argentina
Chile
Colombia
Costa Rica
Cuba
Dominican Republic
Ecuador
Guatemala
Honduras
Panama
Peru
Puerto Rico
Uruguay
Venezuela

When my mom was here, she went with Elena, Ellie and me to a friend's house. It was an early fourth of July celebration where many people were gathered. We parked the car, gathered all our belongings (which have quadrupled since the birth of Ellie) and we started walking toward the house. Before we reached the entrance, one of the many guests approached us to meet Ellie and my mom.

July 6-

This was my first fourth of July living in America. Well, not really, but as you know by now Miami is sort of an extension of Cuba. We like fireworks over there, but not to the extent and obsession of my Kansas neighbors.

Over here, it seems that people have been using fireworks since Valentine's Day. A couple of nights ago I woke up terrified to the sound of what sounded like a cannon. "The British are coming!" was my first thought. But I quickly realized that my neighbors decided to defy the authorities and set off fireworks well past midnight.

My mom was also here for the 4th, so she also had a glimpse of the fireworks obsession. Almost every time she heard a loud explosion she asked, "What is that?" or "Are those shots?"

While I can't say for sure that no one pointed their guns to the air and let a couple of bullets test gravity, I assured her that it was only fireworks. But I wasn't going to let my neighbors have all the fun. Earlier in the day, Elena and I bought some fireworks off some tent with a giant balloon-gorilla on it. I know, the previous sentence sounds like the premise for a bad horror movie, but it's the truth. However, after I got going, the fireworks became addicting and soon my supply was dwindling. My sister in law, Rebekah, drove me to another tent in Gage, called Big Daddy, where I bought some more fireworks. I then realized that I became as obsessed with setting things on fire as my law-defiant neighbors.

My wonderful and creative wife came up with this:

My love, you are the most wonderful woman any man could ask for. All the languages in the world don't have enough words to describe what you mean to me. You are a great friend, a wonderful wife and an amazing mother. I wish you a happy birthday and can't wait to spend it with you!

Te amo!

It really helps to have Photoshop at home. I was able to design this simple (but hopefully effective) ad for Elena's photography page.

Last night, I held Ellie in my arms as I watched Elena and mom communicate. Usually, I'm the one translating back and forth. After a while though, I get it all mixed up and speak to my mom in English and Elena in Spanish. But last night was different.

I asked my mom to speak only in English and Elena only in Spanish. It was really great! Of course, I had to step in here and there, but for the most part, both of them did a great job. It was a very fun night and a great way for them to talk more, and learn too.

As far as Ellie goes, she still speaks in her baby language, which is not always easy to figure it out. I'm getting better though.

Being from Cuba, people assume automatically that baseball is my favorite sport. Although I can play a mean second base, my favorite sport is actually basketball. I fell in love with basketball months after arriving to the United States and my favorite team since then has been the Miami Heat.

I'm rooting for the Heat to win it all this year and I believe they can do it!

UPDATE: They did it! The Miami Heat are the 2012 Champions!!!!

"If a baby were president, there would be no taxes, there would be no war. There would be no government and... things could get terrible. And actually probably it would be a better screenplay idea than a serious suggestion." - Michael Scott (from The Office)


Our house has become Babies R Us. Seriously, what they don't tell you in birthing class is that once the baby is born, or even a few months before, your house becomes baby central. In our living room, there's the swing, baby blankets, a boppy, diapers, wipes and a pacifier hiding somewhere. If you walk to the dining room, you'll find the car seat, along with the diaper bag barely crossing the border between living room and dining room. In our room, there's the pack and play, which she absolutely despises, and a new bed called "Rock and Play," which she actually loves to sleep in. Then of course, there's her nursery, which is baby universe. And lastly, there's the baby tub still sitting in our bath tub earlier after giving Ellie a bath.


She has taken over, and although our lives feel as messy as our house right now, Ellie is fantastic. She is the greatest baby ever and she should be president, if she wants to. First law? A national poop holiday. Hmm...maybe it's even time now...

Well, as you probably know by now, Ellie Marie Sánchez was born on May 1st. She is gorgeous, which means she fortunately looks a lot like her mother. We are both very happy, but equally tired. We haven't slept a good amount of hours since she was born. I know that it gets easier, because everyone tells us that, but we are still waiting.

Meanwhile, we do enjoy her. She is lovely. I'm very thankful to God for my two beautiful girls, Elena and Ellie, whom I love very, very much!

I love Google. I do (please don't ruin my search engine ranking). In fact, whenever anyone has a question about anything, I just say in a solemn way, as if I was knighting someone, "Google it." Would you like to know how many ants are there in the world? Or would you like to know how much is two plus two? Well, sir, or madam, I would tell you to Google it.

Google has this cool new feature where you can actually speak into your computer's mic and Google will search for you. No need to type. Unfortunately, this is where the failure came in. For fun (not for vanity) I said, "Israel Sanchez," but instead of my name coming out in the search bar, this is what I got:

-los angeles
-is well thank you
-ventures
-walmart

Now that is a fail. Oh, Google, if only you could understand me.

A Kwik Shop in Topeka is a dangerous place to be. I had no idea of this until recently. One evening, Elena and I decided to get some night treats, so we stopped at a Kwik shop on our way home. It was a scary place. It seemed that the entire "hood" was having a celebration at their local corner shop. I'm not scared easily, but when there are 15 or more crazy-looking people all around you, one must be vigilant.

So one fine night I decide to call AT&T U-verse and solicit their Internet services. It was the worse mistake of my life. First off, I could barely understand the operators. Please, stop outsourcing call centers to other countries. The unemployment rate is very high in this country and Americans need those jobs. Second, I could hardly understand what they were saying, which was very frustrating.

Apparently, the previous tenant has not disconnected her account with U-verse on my new house, or she probably stopped paying. When I explained to the operator that such person did not live here anymore, well, she told me to get permission from the landlord to cancel her service. I explained that it was the landlord who actually told me to call Uverse, but she wouldn't have any of it. She just wanted me to call them back saying that I had spoken to him, although I told her again that I had.

Anyway, I hang up, call back ,and of course, I get another person. This guy's accent was better, but after holding for 10 minutes, he said he couldn't help and put me on with "a specialist." She was special alright. Her accent was pretty terrible, and when I asked to repeat herself (which I did many times) she seemed to get frustrated.

Me: So, what you are saying is that in order for me to get service, I have to...
Operator: (cutting me off)I'm going to put you on hold sir.
Me: ...get the last tenant...what...no, wait...

Hold music plays

(5 minutes later)

Operator: Hi customer, sir. I'm going to reprocess your order.
Me: Okay, what does that mean?

Hold music plays

(5 minutes later)

Operator: Sir?
Me: Yeah?
Operator: We can't do anything about it. You have to call back tomorrow, talk to another department.

After all this, she gives me a different 1-800 number. Then she proceeds to give me the name and phone number of the previous tenant. I didn't ask for this information and it doesn't even seem legal that she would disclose this. What did she want me to do? Call the previous tenant and ask her why is she making my life miserable by not disconnecting her service? Anyhow, she tried spelling the previous tenant last name for me, and that was very frustrating.

Operator: (cannot make out letter) as in "prein"
Me: As in what?
Operator: (cannot make out letter) as in "prein"
Me: Do you mean, "p" as in "police?"
Operator: Yes, yes, police.

So, after 45 minutes and talking to three different people all they managed was to irritate me. Nothing was resolved. Elena looked at me and saw both my ears red. At this point, I was so bothered that I was laughing. I needed to laugh.

Elena: This is not good for your Latino blood pressure.
Me: Tell me about it!

Please, whatever you do, do not help this company. We are calling a different Internet Service Provider soon. Any suggestions?

My mom doesn't speak English. She can understand certain words and even speak some of them, but she is nowhere near fluent.

Recently, Elena and I moved to a lovely new house. Since we wanted to share our happiness with others, we put some pictures up on Facebook. One of the comments came from Rosalie, my mother-in-law. She said that the house looked "charming," which it truly is. It's a charming little house that exudes character. Anyway, what my mom does, and I think this is real 'charming' of her, she uses Google translate to make sense of some of the comments in English.

In this particular occasion, she translated the word "charming" and she was immediately alarmed. She sent me a message and asked me why my mother-in-law thought that our new house was bewitched.

I had some explaining to do. Thanks Google!

There's a Cuban word that is pretty widely used by all 13 million (and counting) of us. However, children are not supposed to be using it. It is not a curse word, but it is one of those that is borderline. I mean, in other countries it may be a curse word, depends on who you ask. But at least the short version of the word, the one we use mostly, is totally fine everywhere. The abbreviation, or short version is: Ño.

So, I finally have a job! Thanks to all those who responded to my earlier blog spot asking for help (read Micah), but thank God that I finally have an income and can support my family. Where do I work, you may ask? Well, I work at the Revisor of Statutes at the Capitol building in Topeka. Who would have thought that a boy from Cuba would end up working in the State Capitol of a city I hadn't even thought of until I met Elena? That's life for you.

Anyway, I do enjoy my job very much and I like the people I work with. Basically, I proofread bills and amendments all day long, but I'm not supposed to talk to anyone about what I read in there. The first rule of the Revisor of Statutes is you do not talk about the Revisor of Statutes. In fact, I've already said too much.

What I really want to talk about is my travails outside of work. First of all, one morning I woke up and there was snow everywhere. According to my fellow Topekans, "it was nothing, barely an inch." To me, however, that inch of snow looked like an avalanche had come to destroy all that's good and lovely in this world. I also had the pleasure, please note the sarcasm, of scraping the ice off of all the windows in my entire car. On my first attemp to open the door, it wouldn't even move, that's how frozen it was.

On another frozen day, after I got to work, we got word that the entire staff lot, where I had just parked my icy car, had been shut down. There were bomb squad vehicles and everything. The word out on the town was that a suspicious truck had been found. At first, the reports claimed that they had found IED's, but days later, they turned out to be illegal fireworks. Either way, it was a scary situation. Fortunately, no one got hurt by a premature Fourth of July celebration.

I'm looking forward to better weather days, where I can go out with having to wear five layers of clothing, and where my car hasn't been covered by the North Pole.

Friends, once again I'm here to update you on the wonderful world of Cubanisms. If you take notes and pay attention, your next trip to Miami will be very succesful. Dale!*

*Lit: means literal
*Trans: means translation

"Pa' su escopeta!"
Lit: To his rifle!
Trans: Wow!

"Mete tremenda muela"
Lit: He puts a lot of molars
Trans: He speaks a lot

"Es un bárbaro!"
Lit: He's a barbarian!
Trans: He's an expert!

"Voy a jugar bombero"
Lit: I'm going to play firefighter
Trans: I'm going to take a shower

"Te la comiste"
Lit: You ate it
Trans: You did something amazing

"Me la pusiste en China"
Lit: You put it in China
Trans: You have made things hard for me



*Dale is not someone's name, but it's a Cuban expression that means something like "Let's go!"

There's a conspiracy going on and I'm the victim of this global devilish plan. Here's the thing, whenever I get out of my car and I proceed to close the door, I get shocked. I'm not talking about a minor discharge of static energy, but a strong and annoying one. It has happened so often that I'm literally afraid to touch the door handle when I leave the car. What I do now is to carefully get out of the car and close the door by pushing on the window. Glass is fine, thank you very much. What this means for you is that if I'm riding in your car, there will be smudges on the window after we finish hanging out.

This used to happen in Miami, but it has gotten really bad here in Topeka. If only it was my car, then I wouldn't complain as much. But whenever I leave the car and let's say want to go inside the bank or Wendy's, well, those door handles also shock me. What I do sometimes is to pull on my coat's sleeves when I open a door and that absorbs some of the shock, but it still gets me. Lately, Elena has been kind enough to almost open every door for me. This of course makes me look like a jerk to the rest of the world when they see that I don't open the door for my pregant wife. Oh, but they just don't know the pain, the fear.

Like I mentioned, it was bad in Miami, but it's definitely more severe over here. Things that have happened to me:

• When I turned off a light switch in the basement, there was a loud sound like lightning had struck me.


• When getting off the couch to grab my computer, I was zapped by my crappy Acer PC.


• At the bank's drive thru, my ear slightly touched the door frame and I saw a number of colors and stars.


• Once, and this happened in Miami, my cousin Yinet barely touched me and a bright and visible spark almost ignited her hand.


• I had a pair of pants that if when wearing them I touched the side of my car, I got shocked badly. My brother inherited those now.

As you can see, there's a conspiracy going on. Wherever I go, I can almost hear a gentle song in the air that says, "We Will, We Will Shock You!" And I don't like it a bit.

As all of you know, I recently just moved here, so there's a lot of different things going on. But right now I need your help in finding a job. Preferably an office job. Although a dream job would be writing or even translating. Hablo y escribo muy bien el español. But yes, an office job would be fantastic. I would really appreciate your help.

You can reach me here: lovedoesntletgo@gmail.com

Or just leave me a comment. Thanks!

This is what I'm used to and miss, lots of noise, lots of people. Good times!