So one fine night I decide to call AT&T U-verse and solicit their Internet services. It was the worse mistake of my life. First off, I could barely understand the operators. Please, stop outsourcing call centers to other countries. The unemployment rate is very high in this country and Americans need those jobs. Second, I could hardly understand what they were saying, which was very frustrating.

Apparently, the previous tenant has not disconnected her account with U-verse on my new house, or she probably stopped paying. When I explained to the operator that such person did not live here anymore, well, she told me to get permission from the landlord to cancel her service. I explained that it was the landlord who actually told me to call Uverse, but she wouldn't have any of it. She just wanted me to call them back saying that I had spoken to him, although I told her again that I had.

Anyway, I hang up, call back ,and of course, I get another person. This guy's accent was better, but after holding for 10 minutes, he said he couldn't help and put me on with "a specialist." She was special alright. Her accent was pretty terrible, and when I asked to repeat herself (which I did many times) she seemed to get frustrated.

Me: So, what you are saying is that in order for me to get service, I have to...
Operator: (cutting me off)I'm going to put you on hold sir.
Me: ...get the last tenant...what...no, wait...

Hold music plays

(5 minutes later)

Operator: Hi customer, sir. I'm going to reprocess your order.
Me: Okay, what does that mean?

Hold music plays

(5 minutes later)

Operator: Sir?
Me: Yeah?
Operator: We can't do anything about it. You have to call back tomorrow, talk to another department.

After all this, she gives me a different 1-800 number. Then she proceeds to give me the name and phone number of the previous tenant. I didn't ask for this information and it doesn't even seem legal that she would disclose this. What did she want me to do? Call the previous tenant and ask her why is she making my life miserable by not disconnecting her service? Anyhow, she tried spelling the previous tenant last name for me, and that was very frustrating.

Operator: (cannot make out letter) as in "prein"
Me: As in what?
Operator: (cannot make out letter) as in "prein"
Me: Do you mean, "p" as in "police?"
Operator: Yes, yes, police.

So, after 45 minutes and talking to three different people all they managed was to irritate me. Nothing was resolved. Elena looked at me and saw both my ears red. At this point, I was so bothered that I was laughing. I needed to laugh.

Elena: This is not good for your Latino blood pressure.
Me: Tell me about it!

Please, whatever you do, do not help this company. We are calling a different Internet Service Provider soon. Any suggestions?

My mom doesn't speak English. She can understand certain words and even speak some of them, but she is nowhere near fluent.

Recently, Elena and I moved to a lovely new house. Since we wanted to share our happiness with others, we put some pictures up on Facebook. One of the comments came from Rosalie, my mother-in-law. She said that the house looked "charming," which it truly is. It's a charming little house that exudes character. Anyway, what my mom does, and I think this is real 'charming' of her, she uses Google translate to make sense of some of the comments in English.

In this particular occasion, she translated the word "charming" and she was immediately alarmed. She sent me a message and asked me why my mother-in-law thought that our new house was bewitched.

I had some explaining to do. Thanks Google!