Not In Cuba Anymore

For Thanksgiving, I'm used to having dinner, which includes turkey, but also pork, rice and black beans and yuca. When Elena told me that typically Thanksgiving is a lunch event I was definitely surprised. I felt my jaw drop at the news. Thanksgiving at lunch? What?

Fortunately, I have a pretty amazing wife, so she made some black beans and rice. It was really delicious and everyone at the table had some. It also made the transition of being away from the rest of my family easier. And it was a picture of our marriage, Cuban and American, black beans and mashed potatoes, Apple Pie and Pastelitos. Besides my Cuban food for Thanksgiving (or San Givi, mispronounced in Cuban Spanish), I'm also used to music, dancing and lots and lots of people. Not only is Cuban Thanksgiving a family dinner, but friends are also welcomed. Beers are also welcomed, although I must clarify that I always drink just one.

But this year, now in Kansas, it was different, the sun was still out and there was no pork and no dancing, but I still had a wonderful time. Renae, Justin, Bekah, Rick, Rosalie and even the dogs, Tanner and Bella were really fun to be around.

So there you have it, my first real American Thanksgiving at lunch, or well, does it count even if I had black beans? My wife would say yes, this is our life now, Thanksgiving and San Givi, and both are beautiful.

Rick Wenger, my father-in-law, is a great guy. He has always been very helpful and has become like a father to me. He also talks like he lives in the 1950s and that is pretty awesome. On any given day he'll use an idiom or phrase that I have never heard of in my life. And I'm not the only one, sometimes not even Rosalie (his wife) knows what he meant. So, recently whenever he would mention something that sounded like it was used as slang 50 years ago, I took out my Blackberry and made a note of it.

When Elena and I married we were blessed with the chance to go to Saint Thomas for our honeymoon. Once we were there, it felt like we were living inside of a postcard. The hills and mountains surrounding us were so green and so dense that we were overwhelmed by the beauty. And once we made it to Magen's Bay, well, let's just say that our jaws dropped when we saw the pristine and immaculate beach.

We really had a wonderful time and every single day was filled with adventures and memorable characters. But one night, after a long and amazing day, we decided to turn on the TV and see if there was anything on. It was probably around midnight when we came across a show where seven or eight interestingly dressed individuals were standing on top of a stage. I had no idea what this show was, but Elena had been wanting to see it for the longest time. I found out that this was Project Runway and the purpose of the show was to get new and upcoming fashion designers to compete against each other for a chance to make it big in the industry.

I wasn't sure at first, but when I heard one of the judges completely ridicule, and rightly so I may add, someone's garment, then I was hooked. This man and his hilarious critiques, who I later learned was Michael Kors, reminded me of Simon Cowell from American Idol. That night we watched at least four episodes and they were all really funny. And as you may have guessed by my blog, I'm a fan of funny.

A year and some later, Elena and I have watched numerous seasons of Project Runway and for your benefit, I have collected some of my favorite Michael Kors quotes. So, every once in a while, along with my Cubanisms, you will see some Project Runwayisms (Mostly Michael Kors).

Michael Kors - Project Runway Quotes #1

"That top looks like you were in a bad Guns and Roses concert."

"I think she looks like a stewardess. I'm just waiting for her to get me a coffee."

"To me, she looks like she's opening the Thanksgiving pageant and she's being chased by the Indians."

"Forget the jacket, the crotch in the pants is insane!"

"We are about to hit rush hour now," my wife said a couple of days ago while we were driving around Topeka. I braced myself, expecting an enormous amount of traffic, but we were home in 10 minutes. Topeka rush hour is like going to a gas station in Miami.

As part of my Topeka experience, I want to introduce you to all things Cuban. Like any culture, Cubans have a lot of sayings that when literally translated into English make no sense at all, but do not dismay. I will give you the literal translation, only for the fun value, and I will explain the meaning, too.

One night, some friends of mine and I were bored and we decided to make a little movie. It was all improvised and then edited...well, here it is. By the way, my accent is not that thick, I was just channeling Tony Montana in Scarface.

I miss Miami, but I don't miss everything about it. There are many malls in Miami, the most famous probably being Dolphin mall. The thing about Dolphin and nearly every mall in Miami is that it's always crowded with people. You can go at 10 in the morning or at 6 p.m. and you'll find that it is always packed. Does nobody work anymore? Of course, a lot of the people in the mall, especially in the evenings, are teenagers going to the movies or looking for a corner to make out.